Monday, October 22, 2012

Ruminating and Reminiscing

Ruminate: to meditate or muse; ponder

Reminisce: to recall past experiences, events

I received these 2 photos by text on the same evening.  I was already starting to sink into my emotional well which is what happens when I haven't had a moment to breath and then come to a space in my life where I can stop. I teetered here, is it  good or is it bad...this space? It is "this" space which I hope to explore and develop in 2013.  Since childhood I have been a force to be reckoned with...never sleeping, always moving, always thinking.  But when I got married...HH taught me to dream.  You wouldn't think that dreaming could be taught...but is much like learning to meditate.  I read the best description of meditation, I think it was in the book The Untethered Soul.  I always thought I was a failure at meditation because I couldn't keep my mind on tract when in fact meditation is practiced by concentrating on your breathing and when you notice your conscious mind has started making a list, listening to the next person or singing a bring it back to concentrating on your breathing.  So one day early in my marriage I was going on and on...asking HH..."how can you just sit there?  What are you doing?  What are you thinking about."  He looked at me and said, "how can you know, what you want, if you cannot daydream about it?"  WOW

Oh I am running on...back to the photos.  The one on the left is my oldest son with his son...two wild and crazy guys in glasses.  The one of the right is my sister's oldest son with his oldest son.  Wow, where did the time go.  When I received these I got all teary with gratitude that this is how one lives forever through those you love.  Looking at these photos really gave me a jolt, that the space of quiet is not to brow beat yourself about the state of your life and specifically about quilting (which is what I have been doing this last week) but it is about joy.  And so I bring this full circle back to quilting.  I have been figuring out how to enjoy my quilting life because this last week since I have been home it has been a love/hate relationship...and I only want love.  

What about you?  What do you want in your emotional space?